"only God will direct you to the one that He wants you with..."

 "Scorn has broken my heart and has left me helpless; I looked for sympathy, but there was none, for comforters, but I found none." -Psalm 69:20

Sí amigos... it's one of those yucky days again when I feel very lonely. We've all been busy this week and I was literally dying for Sabbath to get here so that I could finally get some rest, but then it's funny how now that I get "some rest" I am completely bored out of my mind. Not to mention, the fact that I've been feeling lonely lately doesn't help either. So I began my usual routine of what I normally do when I feel like talking to a friend and just have them hear me out...  I tried phoning a few people; noone was there to answer their phone! Where are people when you most need them? Gee, I wonder... 

You see, as most of you special friends know, it's been a little over a year since my marriage ended, even though it wasn't until a month ago that my divorce finally and officially became final. Well, obviously I'm still not ready to start any love relationship yet, because there are many things I've yet to gain proper healing from and there are also other things in life I need to do for myself (i.e. finish my Master's degree, become financially stable) before I decide to settle down again. But with that put aside, back in February I met an incredible guy who clearly and quickly caught my attention very much. We instantly became very good friends; we really had a special connection/bond and such a pure and healthy friendship. It was also very clear that we were both very attracted to one another. Down the road (around April), some intense topic of disagreement arose and sadly things took a different and unexpected turn for that friend and I. I regreted so much cutting him off completely as a friend, that up until this day I still carry that painful hurt in my heart. I've talked to three friends especifically regarding this and so far, I've found answers, comfort and hope in their words.

I finally got to vent tonight--thru email- to a very good listening ear...my friend Pat. She gave me some good insights and encouraging advice, but what stroke me most were her words at the end of that message... these were her exact words: "only God will direct you to the one that He wants you with...I'll keep praying... :)"

I know I need not worry about finding a special someone again, because God will direct me to the right person in His perfect timing. It's just that my heart is only human and lonely times do hit me often, especially since I've been married, so I miss having that companionship by my side. I do understand that it is perfectly normal to feel this way... I just can't give in to the idea that because I feel this way I have to enter a relationship with someone. I well know I must wait, and I know God is still doing the work that He has started in me. I just need the strength to be able to hold on tighter and persevere "a little while longer".

I ask of you right now that you keep me in your prayers, because I know God shall provide more than we ask, according to His will, power, riches and perfection. I want to feel well again...

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God ; trust also in me." -John 14:1